Sinkhole Reveals Stash of Girls Dresses

03/29/2013 15:39


A sinkhole has formed near my neighbors house, but fortunately, no one is in any danger.  A few firemen came over to check it out.  One even repelled down the edge.  He disappeared into the darkness, fifty feet below, then yelled up to the rest of us.  You'll never guess what he saw down there.  It wasn't the gates of hell.  It wasn't raw sewage.  It wasn't the hatch from lost.  It was beautiful and radiant and spectacular.  The fireman had spotted a treasure trove full of girls birthday dresses.
Apparently, an ancient society had stored them in this underground cavern.  They used the dresses as an offering to their party god, who apparently, was a girl.  Whenever the society needed a good harvest, rain, bounty, or protection from war, they sacrificed their most prized possessions to the underground deity.  In this case, their most valuable object was their girls dresses.  There's no evidence that girls were tossed in there as well, although it certainly could have happened.  
The EMT worker yelled to us to throw down a bucket and some more rope, so that we could haul the birthday dresses up to the surface.   We pulled and heaved and worked in unison.  The dresses were so heavy, some of the girls watching had to help us.  And when everyone finally got a good look at them, they were so blown away by their beauty that a brawl ensued.  Everyone wanted a birthday dress to take home.
Finally, the curator from our local museum of fashion history came by and took the dresses, where they were put on display for all the public to see.  Lines formed up and down the street as everyone wanted to catch a glimpse of these marvelous garments.  Some girls even tried to break into the museum at night to steal the dresses, but the security guard shot them dead, so all was okay.
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